Faith mind fight

We are,

by all means,

a boring family.

My husband,

though a military veteran,

now has a stay at home job

that keeps him in our basement,

on a computer all day.

He doesn’t mind it though.

I have no job.

I want one,

but can’t keep one.

Bipolar sucks.

Anxiety sucks.

Depression sucks.

Everyone has their story.

It is a part of mine,

that I struggle to keep a job.

We do not do sports.

I like the idea of it,

but the reality is..

we are an introverted,

quirky, quiet,

family.

We do not often volunteer.

I like the idea of it.

But…

see above statements.

We live in our own little bubble.

One I feel guilty about.

We should be doing more for the community.

The list of should-be-doings

is long,

and condemning.

We are a christian family.

I mean a family

who believes in Jesus,

likes our church community,

believes in the love of Christ,

but yes…

struggles to show that

in the traditional ways.

We are just kind of here..

and if we are needed

(someone really has to point it out to us),

then we do what we can.

Not really life giving,

or self sacrificing.

We are boring.

But we delight in one another.

I mean,

mostly..

when the kids do come out of their rooms,

and we finally spend time together,

we really just like each other.

We laugh together,

watch shows,

enjoy stories.

But our social life is lacking,

making connections hard.

We value the ones we have,

yet still keep people a little at arms’ length.

kind of sad really.

I hope we keep growing,

and we can learn to build on community,

to learn to open up our bubble more.

But for now,

it is us.

Is it ok to be that way?