Faith mind fight

Our Ninja foodi tried catching the house on fire.

did you know you are not supposed to have those

plugged in under a cupboard?

Apparently

the plug can hold so much heat,

it doesn’t have enough room to cool

and eventually,

the plug just melts

and wires begin to burn

and the outlet begins to melt and blacken. 

Our washing machine just died. 

We have no extra funds.

On paper, our finances are pretty good. 

And yet we are floundering.

so for the first time,

we go get new appliances

and get on a payment plan. 

We threw in a dishwasher as well

since ours is giving some trouble

and we can smell its impending doom.

then our microwave up and died. 

It was young. 

But it just quit. 

I drove 40 minutes away to get a microwave fuse. 

But when husband replaced the fuse,

and turned the thing on,

the kitchen lights just blinked

and then the microwave died,

again. 

So we got a new one of those too.

thank you visa?

and now the old AC unit,

maybe from the 90’s,

i have no idea,

is making dinosaur noises. 

And won’t cool the house. 

Husband had a minor meltdown

at that one.

we just got a huge loan payed off last year. 

It took 20 years. 

And already

our credit line is going up.

we know we have a lot to be thankful for.

and i mean a lot. 

We have a home. 

We can afford food,

it might not all be healthy,

but we can eat. 

We can pay our bills. 

We are fortunate. 

But God knows we struggle

with gratitude and generosity. 

The more we make,

it feels like the more we lose. 

And the more we lose,

the more we fear losing. 

Stress. 

Husband told the kids today

that we are quitting being adults.