Faith mind fight

No one warned us what near-mid-life

was going to be like…

An avalanche of stress.

A slow break down of the body.

A mist seeping into the brain,

only to be jarred by panic.

Sudden high blood pressure.

Pounds being added to our middles.

Hair deciding to move on,

hair deciding to move in.

Wrinkled face graffiti.

…but it is the emotions that are hard.

Entering this

not-empty-nesters-but-we-know-it’s-

-coming-and-after-that-it’s-death

stage.

I mean,

really,

what the H-E-Double-Hockey-Stick is this?!

physically

financially

emotionally,

we feel like we are barely clinging

to any sort of sanity and calm.

I know I am being dramatic.

but that is what I am feeling these days.

as if the end is near…

the end of kids at home,

the end of joyful anticipation of the future.

Obligations

responsibilities,

mental illness

neurodivergent teenagers,

raising grocery prices,

health and dental appointments.

all are ghosts

chasing down this Mrs and Mr Pac-Man.

We may gobble up some coins

and have some shiny days,

but we are being chased,

and each time we level up,

the chase accelerates

but our cardio fails us.

So each day

is huffing and puffing,

feeling warn down

by these normal mundane things.

How then,

do we cultivate joy?

bring our stress level down?

Is there are support group

for entering the fabulous-forties?

I guess it’s called friends?

We are unprepared for aging out,

unprepared for seeing our kids

grow into teens,

graduate and go out on their own.

We feel

adrift.

It is not always so bad,

but some days,

it feels bad,

it feels all wrong.

that is just how I feel.